I’ve been attending live music shows, of all genres since I was about 14, that’s seven years of gig going, if we’re ignoring all the embarrassing pop acts I saw when I was 10, which we will. In those seven years I have learnt what is and isn’t acceptable at a gig, what you shouldn’t take and which people are the right fucking idiots who manage to piss off a whole crowd, (if you think you’ve never seen one, you are that person). So, in the hope this guide will aid all those that attend gigs, large or small, I shall now go through a list of Do’s and Don’ts and we can all enjoy ourselves at future shows!
- STAY HYDRATED. Yes, okay I sound like your mum, but on too many occasions I’ve seen people and felt myself about to pass out. If you plan on spending the whole 3-4 hours running around a mosh pit, flailing your arms and jumping around, you WILL need water. It’s free, will cool you down and will keep you going for the rest of the night.
- BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS. This covers a whole host of points I’ll make in this list, but just generally be aware of the people around you. If you’re over 6ft and decide to stand at the front, be prepared for abuse. Be polite, if you’re squeezing your way through a crowd say ‘excuse me’ and ‘thank you’ that way you won’t feel the dreaded elbow jab.
- SHOWER BEFOREHAND AND WEAR LOTS OF DEODORANT. Nobody wants to stand next to someone sweating their balls off and stinking of B.O, it’s disgusting. Avoid lots of layers also, this will only aid in your sweating.
- DO CHECK OUT THE SUPPORT ACTS. You never know, they may be your new favourite band/artist. At least listen to the first track or so, make your decision and if you really don’t like them, go to the bar. Don’t stand there moaning about how bad they are, some people will like them.
- CONVERSE WITH PEOPLE. Remember that thing we used to do before tweeting? Hey I know I’m a hypocrite, you probably all know too much about my life by now. But gigs are great ways to meet people, you already have one thing in common and you’ll be waiting for half hour or so in silence otherwise. Most people are nice!
- PISS IN A CUP AND THROW IT. This is more a ‘festival thing’ but wherever you may be, pissing in a cup then throwing it into the crowd is never a good idea and you’re a complete tool if you do. If you seriously can’t hold it, dispose of the cup in a bin or something. This is the same for beer, nobody wants beer in their hair, how would you like it if I pulled down my shorts pissed on your face then poured a pint on your head? Just don’t do it and this is aimed just as much at ladies as it is men, you filthy animals!
- DRINK TOO MUCH ALCOHOL. Mum point number two. So you’ve forked out twenty quid to see your favourite band live, then an extra £25 in travel to get to the venue. Ten (or more) beers down and you wake up in the morning with an awfully fuzzy head and the “what happened last night?” thoughts. You can’t even remember hearing your favourite song because you were that wasted. Have a cider or two, sure, but is there really any point going to a show if you can’t even remember it the next day?
- TALK THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE GIG. Oh sweet Jesus do these people annoy me! On too many occasions I’ve watched amazing acoustic artists struggle to even hear themselves because of people having a natter. It’s inconsiderate, rude and annoys everyone around you. Shut up or leave.
- DON'T BRING A BAG AND ALL YOUR POSESSIONS. Nobody enjoys being knocked around by a massive bag, particularly if said person is bashing his or her way to the front. All you really need for gigs is your money, the ticket and your phone. If you need to bring a small bag, fine. Don’t bring three spare jumpers, your laptop and the kitchen sink, you won’t need it.
- COUPLES, STAY OFF EACH OTHERS FACES. Please. I may be slightly cynical due to being a single lady. But the last thing I want to see is two people playing tonsil tennis in front of me when there’s someone more awesome on stage. We get it, you’re together and super duper happy, and that’s rad for you guys. Now if you could stop for the show that would be great, give your tongues a break for a few hours eh?
And there we have it, your definitive guide to being the most loved person at a gig. Stick to the above rules and you should have an amazing time and not get abused by anyone else. If you see anyone making any of the above mistakes, kindly point them in the direction of this article.