I don't often write super personal posts on here, but some of you may, or may not have noticed I've not been posting much within the past month, which I can only apologise for! I really, really have wanted to be blogging and posting but the past few weeks have been so incredibly hectic, I can't quite believe we're in the middle of October already!
The past month I think I've been more places across the UK then I have in the past year, I've been travelling super amounts for various gigs and music events that have been happening, which, don't get me wrong I absolutely love! However when it was mixed with working long hours in the shop, plus the horrendous flu I have been suffering, I think I can easily say I've burnt my candle out. I've been suffering from a nasty cough and fever for the past two weeks, without any available time to just stop and rest, only making me worse. I've also been feeling really quite down about a lot of things recently, which hasn't exactly helped my motivation, if there are any recent university graduates reading this you probably understand how I feel.
This stage of my life is like the world's largest roller coaster I'm doing as many hours as I can working in retail to scrape my rent together and affording to eat. Then spending any extra time I have spreading my name around various companies, names etc in the hope someone see's my work and passion for music and offers me a job. I can't apply for many internships because I can't afford to travel to London and work for free for a month or so, meaning I'm working my butt off in every other way to get myself noticed, which isn't an easy task in the industry I'm trying to get into.
Despite the fact I'm lacking in any form of energy right now and I'm doing my best to keep so many people happy and make good impressions, music has been keeping me by. I know this sounds cheesy to the MAX, but there has been a lot of new releases recently and I'm finding myself getting completely lost in it all and it keeps that little flame in my brain flickering that reminds me not to give up. Though I'm struggling now, it WILL all work out eventually.
So, I just want to say to anyone that's feeling like this at the moment, that everything will get better. It's hard work trying to make something of yourself but hell we all bloody deserve it and myself included, have suffered so many knock backs from people making me feel like I can't do it or that I'm stupid for trying. This is the right time, for me and YOU. I don't have anyone holding me back, though at times I feel horrifically lonely and feel like breaking down, if I stick on my favourite song from the moment I can pick myself up and carry on fighting.
I'm sure some of you have already pressed the close button on this post by now, but simply typing this out has already made me feel better. Despite my health problems, despite my loneliness and despite my lack of inspiration at times, gradually things will pick up.
I'd love to know if anyone has any good 'pick me ups' for when they feel a bit lost with life, so leave a comment if you have any good suggestions!
I promise to get back to my blogging as soon as I can! Thank you all so much for supporting me so far :)