Friday, 4 January 2013

"Twenty Thirteen doesn't have a nice ring to it"

Over the past few days, I've seen nearly all my favourite blogs writing up there New Years posts, some are positive, some are quite frankly happy to wave goodbye to 2012. I can't say that I am either.

2012 has been a really up and down year for me, though I think about all the fantastic things that happened to me, there seems to be this big cloud shitting all over everything and making me feel very disapproving of the year just gone. Lots of 'what ifs' circling my mind about a whole variety of things. Then again, I can't change any of it, so what's the point in worrying about it?

I guess it all stems from a messy break up at the end of 2011 (why does that always happen huh?) it made me into an emotionless ice queen, who lost trust in nearly every person I came across and I slammed my fist on the self-destruct button of late nights and drinking. Looking back on it however, those nights trawling Southsea's finest bars, my best friends in tow, were some of the funnest nights of my life. I didn't have a care, I just wanted to forget everything, enjoy the moment and feel free. What I didn't exactly think about was that I had a 15,000 word dissertation to write, a television show to help produce every week and a career to start - cue numerous breakdowns on my mother and a load of waffle about radio. In the summer, the friends I'd spent three years with all parted ways and moved back home, I lost my grandfather and had no job to fund the flat I was moving in to. All whilst my dad was in bloody Antarctica and my brother serving a tour for the RAF. Men - completely unreliable!

Saying that though, some really great things happened to me, so I'm doing my best to think about those and the impact they had on me. Most importantly I think the people I have met this year have made the biggest change to my life and I can't thank all of them enough. Eventhough I may have met most of them through Twitter, I would hate to have them out my life, so if you're a friend of mine and you're reading this, here's to you, for making my life bloody fantastic. Here's a few other things that made my life great:

I started working for, I started as a writer, I now manage the social media and competition side of things whilst helping out with editorial work. I've met some of the best people through BTN and it's given me some amazing opportunities to interview my favourite bands and write what I'm passionate about.

I featured in the July issue of Company magazine as a Guest Music Editor. The first piece of real exposure I've ever been given and I can't thank them enough for choosing me!

I graduated from Portsmouth University with a 2:1 in Television and Broadcasting. Clearly all those drunken nights somehow didn't hinder my grades too much, thank god!

Finally, a month ago I was given the go head on my own radio show. It may only be on the local Portsmouth radio station, but everyone has to start somewhere right? I've already had some great feedback and I'm super excited to see what will come of it in 2013.

With feeling so glum about how 2012 went, I am seriously hoping 2013 shines a light onto my life a bit more. I'm slightly scared for the next 12 months, this is the first year where I haven't had education dictating my life. My only source of income is what I earn and no decisions are made for me, it's me in control of my life now. There's a possibility of moving to a completely new city, away from everything I know, there's the endless job applications to fill out for industry work and there's a whole lot more people out there for me to meet and enjoy the little moments with. Maybe I'll even stumble across a nice boy to share some time with, maybe I won't, either way my life is now entirely up to me and I'm determined to take life by the horns and go for it. There's a lot of uncertainty head of me, but one thing that is certain, one thing that I am incredibly excited for, my dad is coming home.
"There's only one man a girl can count on and that's her dad"

Here's to you 2013. You better be a good'un.


  1. You achieved loads in 2012!! Hope 2013 is just as good. Also there is overwhelming jealousy of your papa and penguins!! x

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