Let's all stop being dicks to each other at shows

I fear this blog is starting to become a place to rant about everything, but hey something happened at a show and it really pissed me off.

Saturday night I headed down to my favourite local haunt to watch a band that I've been admiring and promoting for well over a year now, I was super stoked and well prepared to have a brilliant evening. I was also working this show, and by that I mean I was interviewing one of the bands on the bill and reviewing the entire show.

The venue in which the show took place is fairly small, it's a basement venue that can hold 200 people at maximum capacity, and this was a sold out show. The stage isn't all that large and visibility can be limited unless you're fairly near the front. Now, remember I am working this show, so really I need to try and get a decent view of what's going on - it wouldn't be much of a review if I stood at the back unable to see anything. I wouldn't have been able to see the lights decorating the drumkit or the stage invasion that happened at the end of the set. I also understand that when a venue is as small as this, it can be annoying when you have people pushing through, bags bashing around and having your toes stepped on is never enjoyable, but in a venue like this it's gonna happen.

So there I am, trying to push my way through to the front section of the crowd, hand in hand with my friend (also a big fan of the band), some let us through kindly, others were a little stubborn so sometimes you just gotta push. Whenever I find myself in the situation of trying to push past people I always make the effort to say "excuse me" and "thank you" as I make my way through, I've found it calms peoples annoyances and hey, manners don't cost a thing.

Then I feel a big old push on my back and I fall forward, (by this point I'm at a suitable place in the crowd to see the stage, a few rows from the front), I regain myself and brush it off. I feel another push, I fall forward. I turn around expecting to see some douchebag teenager thinking it's funny to shove me around just because I'm either A) a girl or B) they're annoyed I pushed past. Instead, I'm shocked and a little disappointed to be met with a very moody faced man, who is at a guess in his mid-thirties, surrounded by three middle-aged women also looking very annoyed. He flicks his hand in my face and angrily tells me to "go on, go forward". For one I cannot actually get any further forward and also, I'm sorry what? Are you really that angry that someone has pushed infront of you? Have you ever been to a gig before? Are you just an arsehole?

I didn't retaliate well, infact I'm fairly certain I told him to "fuck off", but that's what happens when you continually push me because you're a little pissed I've gotten infront of you. I turned back to face the stage, ignoring him because I didn't want this to get messy. He pushed me again. I turned to face him again, I refrained from swearing at him, or you know, punching him square in the face which is what I would have liked to have done. The women at this point are also trying to get involved and are shouting something at me. I shout at them to just stop it, my angry face is on and I repeat myself a good few times before they eventually stop and I can go back to my business.

What I can't understand is why they all thought this was acceptable behaviour? Okay yes, I pushed infront of them, my bag may have bashed them on my way past, I may have accidentally knocked them. But you're at a rock show that is sold out, you're gonna get people pushing around. I've seen similar behaviour from teenagers who think it's funny, but full grown adults? Come on now, that's just petty and you look like an absolute jerk.

My point here is, we all need to stop acting like arseholes to each other at shows. We're all there for the exact same reason, because we love the bands, we all want to see them and have a great night. There's no need to be rude, there's no need to have a go at someone pushing infront of you. If you're the one squeezing to the front, remember to say please and thank you as you pass and if you're really against being knocked around when you're adamant about standing at the front, just fuck off to the back, we don't need you here ruining our party.

GIG ETIQUETTE – A SIMPLE GUIDE

I’ve been attending live music shows, of all genres since I was about 14, that’s seven years of gig going, if we’re ignoring all the embarrassing pop acts I saw when I was 10, which we will. In those seven years I have learnt what is and isn’t acceptable at a gig, what you shouldn’t take and which people are the right fucking idiots who manage to piss off a whole crowd, (if you think you’ve never seen one, you are that person).  So, in the hope this guide will aid all those that attend gigs, large or small, I shall now go through a list of Do’s and Don’ts and we can all enjoy ourselves at future shows!

DO:

-       STAY HYDRATED. Yes, okay I sound like your mum, but on too many occasions I’ve seen people and felt myself about to pass out. If you plan on spending the whole 3-4 hours running around a mosh pit, flailing your arms and jumping around, you WILL need water. It’s free, will cool you down and will keep you going for the rest of the night.

-       BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS. This covers a whole host of points I’ll make in this list, but just generally be aware of the people around you. If you’re over 6ft and decide to stand at the front, be prepared for abuse. Be polite, if you’re squeezing your way through a crowd say ‘excuse me’ and ‘thank you’ that way you won’t feel the dreaded elbow jab.

-       SHOWER BEFOREHAND AND WEAR LOTS OF DEODORANT. Nobody wants to stand next to someone sweating their balls off and stinking of B.O, it’s disgusting. Avoid lots of layers also, this will only aid in your sweating.

-       DO CHECK OUT THE SUPPORT ACTS. You never know, they may be your new favourite band/artist. At least listen to the first track or so, make your decision and if you really don’t like them, go to the bar. Don’t stand there moaning about how bad they are, some people will like them.

-       CONVERSE WITH PEOPLE. Remember that thing we used to do before tweeting? Hey I know I’m a hypocrite, you probably all know too much about my life by now. But gigs are great ways to meet people, you already have one thing in common and you’ll be waiting for half hour or so in silence otherwise. Most people are nice!

DON’TS:

-       PISS IN A CUP AND THROW IT. This is more a ‘festival thing’ but wherever you may be, pissing in a cup then throwing it into the crowd is never a good idea and you’re a complete tool if you do. If you seriously can’t hold it, dispose of the cup in a bin or something. This is the same for beer, nobody wants beer in their hair, how would you like it if I pulled down my shorts pissed on your face then poured a pint on your head? Just don’t do it and this is aimed just as much at ladies as it is men, you filthy animals!

-       DRINK TOO MUCH ALCOHOL. Mum point number two. So you’ve forked out twenty quid to see your favourite band live, then an extra £25 in travel to get to the venue. Ten (or more) beers down and you wake up in the morning with an awfully fuzzy head and the “what happened last night?” thoughts. You can’t even remember hearing your favourite song because you were that wasted. Have a cider or two, sure, but is there really any point going to a show if you can’t even remember it the next day?

-       TALK THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE GIG. Oh sweet Jesus do these people annoy me! On too many occasions I’ve watched amazing acoustic artists struggle to even hear themselves because of people having a natter. It’s inconsiderate, rude and annoys everyone around you. Shut up or leave.

-       DON'T BRING A BAG AND ALL YOUR POSESSIONS. Nobody enjoys being knocked around by a massive bag, particularly if said person is bashing his or her way to the front. All you really need for gigs is your money, the ticket and your phone. If you need to bring a small bag, fine. Don’t bring three spare jumpers, your laptop and the kitchen sink, you won’t need it.

-       COUPLES, STAY OFF EACH OTHERS FACES. Please. I may be slightly cynical due to being a single lady. But the last thing I want to see is two people playing tonsil tennis in front of me when there’s someone more awesome on stage. We get it, you’re together and super duper happy, and that’s rad for you guys. Now if you could stop for the show that would be great, give your tongues a break for a few hours eh?

And there we have it, your definitive guide to being the most loved person at a gig. Stick to the above rules and you should have an amazing time and not get abused by anyone else. If you see anyone making any of the above mistakes, kindly point them in the direction of this article.